


Crystal Candlenights

by HappyLeech



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angus as a Blupjean baby, F/M, Non-Descriptive Limb Loss, Role Swap, Spoilers for Episode: e029-039 The Crystal Kingdom Parts 1-11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 00:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13422924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyLeech/pseuds/HappyLeech
Summary: Barry makes a mistakeJulia hosts a partyKillian witnesses an ill-advised medical procedureKravitz has a bad day





	Crystal Candlenights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BoxOnTheNile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoxOnTheNile/gifts).



Barry knew he could bring her back.

Or, well, he was 85% sure that he could call Lup back from the Astral Plane and place her in one of his robotic bodies. Sure, Taako might not be too happy about it, but honestly, Barry didn’t care. It had been years since Barry had heard her voice and the letters he sent with his brother-in-law just weren’t cutting it. Besides, Angus missed his mother too.

Sure, he could start dating again—that was what Avi had suggested one night after drinks, but Barry couldn’t. Who would want to date a necromantic scientist who kept in touch with his late wife through letters sent with his Raven Queen associated brother-in-law? No one smart, that’s who.

“Come on…I just need to—” With a shout he jumped back, a grin on his face as the cosmoscope that they’d built found her in the Astral Plane. He knew that Taako had wheedled and sucked up to the Raven Queen until she had agreed to put Lup on the same outcropping of rock above the waters that Magnus Burnside was staying, but actually seeing her was something else. She was sitting at the island’s edge, looking off towards the Stockade that Taako talked so much about.

“Barry?”

He looked up and smiled at Noelle, or rather, N0-3113 and pushed away from his work station. She was the first soul he’d pulled from the Astral Plane, timing it just right so Taako and his boss hadn’t noticed. Barry had time and time again tried to remind her of who she was before he’d placed her in her robot body, but Noelle didn’t seem to understand and he didn’t want to push. 

“What’s up, Noelle?”

“Angus is askin’ about you, hon. You aren’t gonna stay in your lab all Candlenights, are you?” She crossed her arms and Barry got the impression that, if she could, Noelle’d be giving him the stink eye before hustling him out of the lab and to the Bureau headquarters for eggnog and finger foods.

“Shit, is it time already?” Barry looked at his watch and winced. He did promise Angus that he’d be there for Candlenights with everyone, but… “Hey, can you let him know that I’ll be there in a little bit? I hit a snag and I just need to smooth it out before I can leave.” He smiled at Noelle. “I promise.”

Noelle made a noise that Barry chose to interpreted as a sniff of disbelief, but she left the lab none the less. Hopefully she could forgive him for lying to her and Angus. Hopefully he could give Angus something better for Candlenights than the few gifts under the bush.

 

* * *

 

Candlenights in the reclaimer’s apartment was going better than Julia had anticipated. People were in and out, grabbing treats that Julia and Killian had made off the table and standing to listen to Kravitz and Johann perform together. Killian was off to the side, not much for the festivities, but she was still drawn in when Julia began to give out her gifts, taking her small wooden duck with careful hands. Even the Director was there, standing off to the side with some wine and watching Johann with sad eyes.

“These are very good, Ma’am.” Startling, Julia looked down at Angus who was holding a cup of non-alcoholic eggnog and nibbling at a piece of her shortbread. She’d given him a small carving of the Voidfish, and he beamed when he saw it.

“Are you enjoying the party?” she asked, and he nodded though he looked as sad as the Director. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh! No, no I’m just…my dad said he’d be here, but he hasn’t shown up yet.” Angus shrugged. “Probably got caught up in the lab, like usual.”

Julia frowned, but before she could say anything the Director pushed away from the wall, holding his stone of farspeech close to his ear. “What do you mean there’s an issue, Bluejeans?” he said, his eyes darting to Angus.

And with that, the holiday atmosphere was gone.

People began to move around the room, the Director both talking to Barry and directing traffic until the only people standing in front of him were Julia, Killian, Kravitz, Merle, Hecuba, and Boyland. Angus and Johann were sitting together on the couch, Angus buried in Johann’s side.

“Tell me again why you didn’t bring us the relic once you found it?” The Director asked, sitting on the piano bench and rubbing his forehead.

There was a crackle before Barry answered. “I—I wanted to finish what me and Lup started, Avi. I’ve had it for a long time, but the thrall never hit me, so I figured I could control it.” He laughed bitterly, and Julia felt the urge to yell at him for scaring his son. “But…maybe that was the thrall in of itself. The concept that I was above it, that I could control it.”

“Sounds like you messed up, kiddo,” Merle said, and then there was a hiss, an intake of breath from the other side of the stone.

“You’re sending the regulators in after me, Avi?” Barry asked, and Angus shot up off of the couch, mouth open to protest and moments from tears. The Director, Avi apparently, motioned with his head and, before Angus could do more than cry out for his father, Johann carried him out of the room. “…shit.”

“I’m going to give your frequency to Julia, Barry, and we’re sending people in. How long before your lab hits the sea?” Avi asked.

Barry sighed. “Two hours. I’ve got things running on backup generators, but there’s a few rooms that I can’t kill from where I am. I’ll let Noelle know you’re coming.”

Avi covered his stone and looked at them all grim faced. “Killian, Julia, Kravitz. I’m sending you in to retrieve the Philosophers Stone for Barry. Do what you need to get it. Merle, Hecuba, Boyland. I want you to apprehend Barry. I—” he hesitated, then sighed. “For Angus’s sake, try to bring him in alive. But, if you can’t…” Merle and Boyland nodded and Hecuba looked ill, but still they left the room to get ready.

“Come on, lets go get those suits and find Davenport,” Kravitz said, a hand on both her and Killian’s shoulders as they too left the room. “Maybe we can get Barry out of there intact too.”

Julia could swear that she could hear Angus crying as they walked, and nodded. She was going to do what she needed to get him out alive.

 

* * *

 

Killian was not enjoying herself. Not that she usually enjoyed herself when the three of them were hunting the relics, but there were usually a few good moments to break things up. Tea with Klaarg, for one. Making their masks with Hurley was another.

Watching Kravitz swearing his head off as his arm started to turn to crystal was not one of those good moments, and Killian watched helplessly as Julia readied her axe, prepared to sever the limb to save his life.

“Oh no…oh no oh no oh no!” N0-3113 started to panic, “I don’t have any more of my stuff! Oh no…”

“What’s happening?” Merle and Hecuba both yelled, running out of a previously ice-covered door just in time to see Julia swing, just in time for Kravitz to scream and pass out, right arm crashing to the ground and breaking into shards.

Before anyone could do anything, Killian scooped Kravitz into her arms and turned to N0-3113. “Where’s the medical bay? Merle’s a cleric but we need to get somewhere safe first.”

“Keep going! Two halls ahead of you—I’ll make sure the door is open.” Barry answered this time, and Julia growled at the stone. “What happened?”

Killian didn’t stick around to hear whatever Julia said, instead dashing for Barry’s location. They’d already lost Boyland, and she didn’t want to lose Kravitz as well. As she rushed through the airlocks, she could see Barry’s back, could see him pulling first aid supplies down and yelling into his stone of farspeech to N0-3113.

He turned as she entered, arms laden down with supplies and he must have seen something on her face because he dropped nearly all of it. “I—I—I,” he stammered, before pointing at the table. “Put him down and you can kill me once he’s stable.”

“Merle was right behind me,” she hissed, carefully setting Kravitz on the table. “Why shouldn’t I take you down for this right now?”

“Because,” Barry stooped to grab up the things he dropped, setting it next to Kravitz before taking the cap off of a needle and jabbing it into his upper arm. “I can give him his arm back. Not the same arm, mind you, but Noelle is grabbing me some things. Now, can you please move or he’ll bleed out  _ before I can do anything _ !”

With a growl, Killian moved out of the way, keeping a close eye as Barry pulled out another needle and stuck it in Kravitz’s other arm, slowing the bleeding some. Around this time everyone else piled into the room, and Barry pointed to Merle.

“I’m going to need you to work some clerical magic, Merle. Noelle should be back soon…I’m going to grow him a soulwood arm. I know,” Barry held up a hand to stop both Hecuba and Merle from questioning his decision. “I know that Kravitz isn’t a follower of Pan, so that’s why I’m not going to ask you bless it. I just want you to help it grow so I can graft it. Then I’ll need you to heal him. There’s only so much that I can do.” He went to scratch at something under bandages that Killian hadn’t noticed before, then winced.

“What happened to you?” Julia asked, looking worried for not just Kravitz but Barry as well.

His hands dropped from the bandages. “Just a few burns, nothing to worry about. He’s more—Noelle! Good, you found everything.”

Killian watched with everyone as Barry and Merle stabilized Kravitz, needles and prayer stopping the bleeding and bringing him back from unconsciousness. “What happened?” she asked, Julia squeezing his shoulder as Barry puttered around in the back, Hecuba and Merle talking softly about the loss of Boyland.

Kravitz sniffed. “I heard something from the Raven Queen,” he said, eyes a little glassy. “Maybe…Maybe I’m not as devoted as I thought I was. Julia, did I do something wrong?”

“Aw, shit. I’m sorry, Kravitz. I…hope four fingers isn’t going to be an issue? I could keep it in the pot but then you’d be without an arm for another week and a half.” A shudder ran through the lab, and Barry paled. “I don’t think we have the time. Killian, can you help me sit him up? Kravitz, can you drink this for me? Then I promise I’ll explain what’s going on.”

 

* * *

 

Kravitz, all in all, was not having a grand Candlenights. Things had been going well before Barry had messed with one of the grand relics, before Hecuba’s husband had died, before Julia was forced to chop off his arm.

Four fingers, four wooden fingers, were going to take a lot of getting used to.

Then there was the Red Robe who saw Killian’s knives and freaked out at them all, and Barry who paralyzed them and left them flat on their asses as his brother in law materialized a crystal body. A brother in law who was an emissary of the Raven Queen, and the reason that Kravitz wasn’t feeling too hopeful about his chances of piano playing anytime soon. 

“Uh…well this is new,” the golem said, looking at the five of them collapsed on the floor. “Do I want to know what happened?”

“Your brother in law decided that he was going to ditch us here and go try and fix this problem!” Hecuba hissed, trying to use Merle to pull herself into a sitting position. “He got my husband killed! And Kravitz lost an arm… I’m going to kill him.”

“Not if I kill him first,” Killian snarled, face down on the floor and muffled, but Kravitz could still hear her.

“Uh, can we not talk about killing Barry?” Julia asked from where she was slumped up against the wall. “I mean, this, uh, golem is his brother in law, and I’m pretty sure Angus would like his dad alive? I don’t personally have children but most eleven-year-olds usually benefit from parents.”

The golem seemed to tune them out though, surveying the regulators before nodding. “You two are clean. You three—no, you four on the other hand…” he pointed towards Kravitz. “You have overdue appointments in the Astral Plane, chop chop.”

There was a beat before everyone started to yell. Julia and Killian began to try and argue with the golem, while Merle cast dispel magic on Kravitz right as the golem went to spear him. He rolled out of the way with a yelp, sure that he had a hurt look on his face, but Kravitz didn’t think that the golem really cared.

“Huh. Well, I don’t. I don’t usually miss with that. You must be really lucky, uh…Kravitz,” the golem said, before readying to go another round.

Kravitz held up his new wooden hand, and grimaced. “Uhm, wait. Before you keep going, I have a question?” Merle gave him a thumbs up from the side, and Kravitz sighed. He really did have a question, but if Merle thought he was stalling for time for him to dispel whatever magic Barry’d hit them with, so be it. “You know that the Raven Queen is my patron goddess. I mean, that was you who told me to grab that crystal, right?”

The golem laughed. “Hah, yeah. I didn’t think you would really grab it—point one for Taako!”

Kravitz frowned. “What did I do wrong? I- I-“ he sniffed, and Hecuba made a noise, motioning for him to come over to her despite the danger they were all in. The golem, Taako, somehow managed to look uncomfortable. “I’m a bard! I don’t do anything that she would take issue with. I leave offerings at her temples, I respect her rules. I don’t know what I did!”

So maybe he was crying a little. He’d had a very bad night and if anyone brought it up, he’d throw his new arm at them.

Speaking of his arm, Kravitz began to rub the wooden fingers. “I’ve written music for her too. Hymns for her temples. And now I’m going to have to learn how to play all over again because I’m missing a finger…” he sniffed again. “Maybe she doesn’t like my music…Does she not like my music? I can write her different music…maybe she doesn’t like the piano?”

“Uh, no. That’s not the problem, my dude.” Taako actually took a step back as Kravitz wiped his eyes. “Look, I gotta go. Got some different things to deal with before I come back for you four.”

As the golem body collapsed onto the ground, Merle cheered as Julia and Killian jumped to their feet. “Great going, kid! Good thinking with the fake tears—that really helped sell the whole ‘confused worshipper’ thing you went with.”

“I—I wasn’t faking that though,” Kravitz said, frowning as he helped Hecuba up off the floor and squeaking as she gave him a hug. “I’m fine, I’m just…stressed out.”

Julia clapped him on the back.  “Well, chin up. We just have to get Barry and the relic, and then we can go back to the Bureau and those bottles of wine in the kitchen.”

“That sounds good.”

 

* * *

 

Barry had hoped that, somehow, he’d be able to get Lup out of the amethyst pillar and fix everything before everyone made their way down to him, but it was not to be. Killian was running towards him, obviously angry, as everyone else followed.

Hecuba wasn’t with them.

“You-!” Killian lifted him up off the ground, spitting questions out as she glared, but Barry wasn’t listening.

“Merle! What happened to Hecuba?! Is she—she’s okay, right? She didn’t—"

Merle shook his head. “Nah, her helmet got cracked, and we all figured there was no use her kids losing another parent tonight, so she went back to home base.” Barry sighed, slumping in Killian’s arms. Thank god, he hadn’t killed anyone else. “You sure fucked up there, kiddo.”

Barry hung his head, almost falling to the ground as Killian dropped him. “Yeah I…I know. I just…I thought I could fix everything, you know?” He waved his hand around the room, before turning to Lup. “I didn’t think that all of this would happen.”

“What is all of this, Barry?” Killian had stepped back, and now Julia was the one asking questions, a hand on his shoulder. “Who is that, in the robot?”

He flicked his eyes to Noelle, or, rather the robot body that he assumed Noelle was inside of. “Hey there, Barry. I figured out what you’ve been tryin’ to tell me the last few months,” she said, waving.

Barry almost laughed. At least something had gone right. “It—that’s Lup, my wife. For our entire lives, we’ve been researching the planes that you saw in the Cosmoscope. We were so close to a breakthrough, but we didn’t have enough…not until I found the Stone. With it, we were able to create so many more mirrors, were able to see into more planes. Or, well, that was the theory.” He walked away from the group, and pressed a hand to the amethyst. “Lup tested the ‘scope without me, and it destroyed her. Taako—the reaper you met—is her twin brother, and he petitioned the Raven Queen to let her stay above the waters, to wait before she joins the rest of the souls there.”

Barry motioned to the disc of sapphire, before leaning his head against Lup’s crystal. “Angus and I have been able to send letters through with Taako but…he’s just a kid. Letters aren’t enough. And I…I miss her. Her voice, her jokes, her cooking, how much she’d laugh when I tried to make breakfast. So I found where she’s been staying, on an island created for another soul, and I pulled her into the body.” He turned, before sitting beside it. “She didn’t recognize me. Burned me, took the Stone, then started all of this.”

He looked up, seeing Kravitz start to speak, and interrupted him. “Please, I’ve already been read the riot act from Taako. I know I fucked up, Kravitz.”

“And yet it doesn’t seem to click exactly how bad you’ve fucked up, Barold.” Barry jumped to his feet, spinning as everyone else did to look at the sapphire mirror. “Do you know what I’m going to have to do to keep the RQ from having me toss Lulu into the Stockade?”

Standing just inside the mirror was an elf, hands on his hips, book floating in the air beside him. “Taako at your service, please, hold your applause. Barold, I’ll get to you on a sec. I need to deal with you three first.”

Barry watched as Taako began to read out Julia, Killian, and Kravitz’s transgressions with the Raven Queen, his eyebrows raising with each number read out loud.

Julia: Twelve deaths.

Killian: Seventeen deaths.

Kravitz: _Seventy-three_ _deaths._

Barry didn’t really think that someone could be in more trouble than him at the moment, but he stood corrected. Julia and Killian were surprised but not exactly upset by Taako’s accusations, but Kravitz looked positively devastated.

Then the giant hand snatched Taako out of frame and Barry found himself hiding as Noelle and Merle starting to take down robots and Kravitz, Julia, and Killian focused on a giant fist made of spirits.

_ “Thank you, Lup,” _ they’d said when they entered into the lab, and Barry couldn’t help but shake. How many natural laws had he broken, trying to hear her voice one last time? Who else, or what else, had he opened the door to?

So absorbed in guilt, he didn’t realize that he was a target until Lup was in front of him, her mechanical hands humming with energy, spouts of fire licking the air. “Hey, babe? I love you, and I’m going to get you out of this, but this was seriously not cool.” With a laugh, she swung a fist, sending a robot flying. “Hey, Julia! Catch!”

And then things were a blur. Julia ate the Stone, then got stuck under the sapphire mirror. Merle banished Legion back to the Astral Plane, hopefully back to the Stockade. Avi called, finally able to get the stones working again, only for Killian to lie and say he was dead.

“—so, you guys…eh, I wouldn’t say saved my job but you helped out a bit. Like, did a solid 40% of the banishment needed to get all those souls back under control.” Barry finally clued in as Taako started speaking. “I can’t—look I can pretend that I don’t see these ridiculous numbers here, but Barold, you done fucked up. What am I supposed to say when I get called in to talk about this? “ _ Oh, well my brother grabbed his wife, created an avenue for 90% of the Stockade to escape, but I let him off with a warning _ ”? I can’t do that, Barold. It’s against the rules, and you know how I am about rules.”

Barry chuckled. “Yeah, I figured that this was going to happen. So—” He started to walk towards Taako, only for Lup to push in front of him. “Lup?”

“Nu-uh, Koko. If you think I’m going to leave Angus without anyone I trust to take care of him you are sorely mistaken,” she shook her head, and Barry felt his heart melt. It wasn’t the same voice—the robotic voice-box distorted it a little bit, but it was still the same woman Barry’d fallen in love with. “Let me talk to Raven Mama, I can probably work out a deal. You guys—” she pointed to Killian. “—are going to have to figure out how to un-kill my husband though. You are not traumatizing Angus more than he already has been this Candlenights.”

Killian rolled her eyes. “Hey, Director? Barry isn’t really dead. His wife yelled at him, and he’s alive again.”

Taako sighed, running a robotic hand down what passed for a mutilated robotic face as Avi started yelling questions at Killian. “Fine. Fine! You can talk to her then, Lulu. But if you three die any more, that’s it. I’m going to collect and there’s not a thing you can do about it. Anything else, before I go?”

“Uh,” Julia held up a hand. “My husband, Magnus. Could you tell him that Julia says hi?” Both Taako and Lup turned to her, and she almost shrank back. “Or don’t, that’s okay?”

“I should have known you were Maggie’s wife. Yeah, I’ll tell him you say hi. I’m sure he’ll be like Lup and want to write you letters too,” Taako said as Lup rushed over to hug Julia. “He’s another soul who’s got special privileges. Anything else?”

Kravitz also held up a hand. “Does the Raven Queen like my music? I don’t want to continue if I’m making something she doesn’t like…”

“Yeah, she digs it. Said that it’s nice to have something new sung and played in her name for once. Any other, better, questions?” Taako asked, and Barry realized that he was reaching his limits.

“Angus has a Candlenights gift for you on the Bureau, but there’s no rush to get it, just pop in. He’ll be happy to see you, it’s been a few years.” Barry said, all in one breath. “And…thanks.”

Taako waved the hand. “Don’t thank me yet. RQ might decide that I need to bring you in later. Now, can we go? Because I feel like it’s going to be a long night of,  _ uhg _ , paperwork thanks to you chucklefucks.”

 

* * *

 

By the time Julia, Killian, and Kravitz got back to their apartment, and more importantly beds, the three of them were exhausted.

Barry wasn’t exactly taken to the brig, but he was going to be watched very closely for a time. Angus somehow hadn’t cried all of his tears, and alternated between hugging the three of them, the Director, and Barry. Kravitz had to be looked over by Merle and another cleric before everyone agreed that the soulwood arm was the best thing for him. Killian was chastised for falsely reporting Barry’s death and for provoking the Red Robe against orders. Julia was, basically, turned into a human slide to extract the Philosophers Stone and told to not eat any more Grand Relics.

So, it was after the three of them had finished a bottle of wine and Kravitz tapped a few unhappy notes on the piano, that they heard Lup. Or, rather, a recording from the fuse that housed her soul.

 

* * *

 

_ I saw all of existence, all at once. I saw a dark storm, a living hunger, eating it from within. But I saw a brilliant light heralded by seven birds flying tirelessly from the storm. I saw seven birds: _

_ The Lovers _   


_ The Scientist _   


_ The Protector _   


_ The Lonesome Captain _   


_ The Peacekeeper _   


_ And The Wordless One _   


**Author's Note:**

>  **boxonthenile:** I just typed "Jucas" and immediately thought "jean Lucas"  
>  **Leechy:** ghjfkdsl AU where Barry is the scientist and Lucas is the jean wearing litch  
>  **boxonthenile:** save me  
>  **Leechy:** and Barry is trying to bring back his gf and taako is the frsutrated reaper who is like "STOP DOING THAT"  
>  **boxonthenile:** save me from denim scientist hell. im not writing that. i love it but i c a n t
> 
> * * *
> 
> Kravitz takes Merle's place, Julia takes Magnus's place, Killian takes Taako's place, Carey takes Lup's place, Avi takes Lucretia's place, Johann takes Davenport's place, Lucas takes Barry's place, Merle takes Carey's place, Hecuba takes Killian's place, Barry takes Lucas's place, Lup takes Maureen's place, Taako takes Kravitz's place, Magnus takes Julia's place, Davenport takes Avi's place, Lucretia takes Johann's place
> 
> * * *
> 
> This is a oneshot...for now, anyways. Also despite the fact that Lucas was the reason for this au...he doesn't show up, oops
> 
> * * *
> 
> [Personal Tumblr](http://happyleech.tumblr.com/)


End file.
